Why are men afraid to talk about emotions? Episode 84

Monika Rachtan
Hi Monika Rachtan, I welcome you very warmly to the next episode of the programme. First of all, the Patient. It is often said that men shouldn't show their feelings, and if they do, they are considered weak. On why it is important to show what you feel. I'm going to be talking to my guest today, and he is Bart Kowalski. I welcome you very warmly.

Bard Kowalski
I am very pleased and thank you very much for inviting me on such an important topic.

Monika Rachtan
That's right. When I listen to your songs, that's where the emotion can be heard. Those emotions. As we got to know each other I know they are mega authentic. Tell me, have you had a moment in your life when you decided to expose your feelings so much that you wondered if it was good? Will the internet forgive me for that?

Bard Kowalski
I'll tell you this. I'm a zodiac weight and it's a radical weight. It's so very open and we speak out loud about our emotions, how things are. I'm also from such a home, mainly my mother. Someone might say that's a bit of a drama queen. I'm not talking about my mum, just that kind of behaviour, that kind of openness, the width. When I'm angry, I am. Everyone knows I'm angry. When I'm happy, everyone knows I'm happy. My mother and my grandmother shaped me very much in that, to talk about my emotions, to talk openly about it. But you were also.

Monika Rachtan
Raised close to women.

Bard Kowalski
I have this line-up of parents. There is, they are together. My dad is a bit more closed off emotionally. My mum is very open and she taught me that. And my grandmother the same way. And when it comes to these kind of public emotions and speaking out and saying it out loud, after the depression I went through quite a lot of depression you get sick practically all the time and it's with us all the time, it just gets put to sleep. I decided that I would like to help people. I would like to help people with my art, with my music, with what I say. Help other people? It's not about a great career for me anymore. I mean that even if I help one person who listens to my music, who listens to the content that I say on the internet, that I write, my mission is accomplished because I have had people reach out to me, and I know that there are plenty of people whose hand is unfortunately not being reached.

Monika Rachtan
You became ill with depression, you're aware of it, so you must have had a diagnosis. Was it hard at all to get yourself together, go to the doctor and admit I, a guy, an artist who performs on stage, A person who is seen as someone fun, someone confident. I have depression.

Bard Kowalski
I have to tell you that it's cool, it's cool that you said that, because a lot of people are shocked. In general when I say I'm depressed, just you know how it is. The person with depression smiles the most, Mostly in that general moment when you're with everyone, or when we can smile into that phone for a moment. It's an easy game to play. You can fool the audience in this way, fool everyone around you, but you can't fool yourself. I fooled myself for a long time and there came a point when I was already simply put up against the wall, in front of myself.

Monika Rachtan
What did that moment look like?

Bard Kowalski
I had a suicide attempt and it was that people led me to it. I was led to it by another person. I was bullied. It's a story in general that I've put in a drawer of forgetfulness for myself. I have processed it, it is behind me and I can talk about it now. And I know that when I talk about it out loud, that I'm after a suicide attempt, that I've gone through depression, that I've been socially marginalised because someone made up something about me and it was totally cut off overnight. And it's like when you don't have the right to speak and someone doesn't give you the right to say, because the most important thing is to talk, and like even when we get called to court, they give the accused the right to say and speak. And if you don't have the option to say, you drown in it even more.

Monika Rachtan
That is, you have been judged.

Bard Kowalski
I was judged by those closest to me. It seemed to me at the time that these were my nearest and dearest. I am very open to people and I love people in spite of everything, that as much as people take away from us, they also take away from us. It's such a balancing act, that balance. But let's remember that when we give something without thinking that we want something in return, it will come back to us sooner or later and also.

Monika Rachtan
It has the most value because then it is sincere. If we give something just to get something from someone else, well then absolutely that.

Bard Kowalski
It doesn't work at all.

Monika Rachtan
Then we don't give.

Monika Rachtan
That's just the way we demand. Yes, but you said suicide attempt, depression in general a lot of heavy words, a lot of heavy situations that you've been through.

Bard Kowalski
I am sorry to interrupt you. I know it may sound light-hearted now. I went out of my way to talk about it at great length. Those closest to me knew about it. But then one day I thought to myself that I have to start talking about it, because there are a lot of such people and such men, they are just ashamed to talk about it.

Monika Rachtan
But you also had that moment when you opened up to people, when you started to be authentic and show what happened in you, that it came off a little bit, that you said God, Bart, I'm finally being real, authentic, Finally these songs of mine are about something, they're about me. That's how I want to be. And there was a kind of vertical to the mirror. Yeah.

Bard Kowalski
I'll tell you, the moment when I sort of burst this bubble that I was inflating for myself, you know, it was getting bigger and bigger, bigger and bigger. I was fooling myself in front of myself, I was fooling myself in front of others that it was great in general, that in general Law and Justice was always smiling, extra, when it overflowed. And I'm now standing on stage as a conscious artist, because I'm a conscious artist and it's not some overgrown ego, but I'm a conscious artist who has something to give, who wants to carry the mission to help. My producer KCZ and I laugh about the fact that this album is going to be called Help at all, but that's the mission we're doing it with. And I am so grateful for every message I receive. You know it's the first time since I've been singing, since I've been releasing songs, that I haven't had any negative comments when it comes to creativity. The first time, of course, there are some takeaways from different people. Does anyone not like something? How many people, so many opinions, but so many people who open up and write me such lovely messages.

Bard Kowalski
For me, it was unheard of at first. How did the number come out? May we have a good one, I actually spent almost the whole night writing back to people on messages. And it's heartwarming for me to see that I can help someone, because someone sometimes says that's how we want to help, because we didn't get that help ourselves. Maybe a little bit like that, but I also got a lot of warmth and love from my loved ones and I would like this wave of good, positive energy and love to go on.

Monika Rachtan
You know, because with this help it's also the case that at that moment, when you have gone through this path, you also know what the needs of such a person are. Because someone who hasn't gone through, even let's say doctors, specialists, therapists, even though they've been learning all these things for many years, they've never been in those shoes. And I also always talk about how hard it is to speak up and speak out. If I was in his shoes, I would do this, this and that. Okay, if you were in that position 3 years ago, 2 years ago. You have experiences, then you can advise something. But in a situation where you didn't suffer from depression, You didn't stand in front of the mirror and say I don't want to live, I want to kill myself. Then how can you advise the other person? Is he doing something right or wrong? And the moment you have such experiences, you know what such a person needs. And often it's not the words will be fine or well take it easy, which you have, You know, like.

Bard Kowalski
Get moving, do something, it will pass you by. It's totally not like that. And thank you for saying what you just said, because we don't know how a person feels in any given shoes. It's like someone saying what would you do if someone cheated on you? And how are you supposed to know what you would do at any given moment? Would you forgive the betrayal or would you forgive someone for a certain thing? It's only when you're in the moment that you can make a statement about a subject. And it's the same with depression, it's the same with wellbeing, it's the same with a suicide attempt and it's the same with any situation in our lives. Until you are in those shoes, until you are in that moment, then don't judge and don't speak for the other person.

Monika Rachtan
Do you remember the day you decided to kill yourself?

Bard Kowalski
I remember, I remember that day. It was such a moment where I was already on the total edge and everything. It's such a story that I'm not going to tell the whole story because I'll leave it to myself and. But he saved me. I was saved by the nomen omen Xanax, because it cut me off. You know, I went to bed and I woke up in the morning and I thought to myself no no, I have a mission, I have a mission to do. Stop!

Monika Rachtan
Stop, stop! Sleeping medication.

Bard Kowalski
And I can't say Okay, sleep medication. I have to say.

Monika Rachtan
Okay, you can't.

Bard Kowalski
Us like this. Well Jesus, have you knocked us out with such power?

Monika Rachtan
No, they didn't tell me that. They there, you see? They're not listening. Okay, well you don't listen, you don't listen.

Bard Kowalski
And they are there.

Monika Rachtan
No.

Bard Kowalski
Sleeping medication. Good. Yes.

Monika Rachtan
They saved me.

Bard Kowalski
I was saved by sleep medication because it cut me off and I fell asleep. And I woke up in the morning. And you know, it was so amazing because I woke up in the morning and I thought No, I have a mission, I have a mission, I got any second chance at all in life. Me and the other person can't bury me, because I'm like a phoenix from the ashes and I'm going to come out of the worst, sorry ass, and stand where I want to stand.

Monika Rachtan
But also what, and then you know, suddenly rose-tinted glasses?

Bard Kowalski
No, no.

Monika Rachtan
What was it like?

Bard Kowalski
That was the therapy I'm in. I'm in therapy again now. I, for one, think therapy should be reimbursed for everyone, but actually reimbursed. Learning about emotions should. Instead of some subjects in school we should have lessons about emotions and about psychotherapy, to teach people to talk, to teach people about speaking out what hurts us. Because I am an open person and I speak out. And I also got sick with depression. They were able to put me in that box too. They were able to put me in that box and lock me up. Because someone is thinking depression, depression, because it's fashionable, because it's something out there. It's when the body says no. You can want everything, but the body says no. And it's something like that. It gets so cross that it cuts you off, that there's this switch in you that just when it goes down, it's very hard to lift it up.

Monika Rachtan
But you had so that there were days when you were no longer able to get out of bed, go to work, get dressed, wash up, you just lay there and wait.

Bard Kowalski
I cried through those days. I, in general, it may sound strange, but I like to cry because it's very cleansing.

Monika Rachtan
I like it too. Generally it's cool. It's such a knock out.

Bard Kowalski
Emotions and blowing off emotions. I'm a bit of a choleric person too. I You know, I get inflamed quickly and I forget to shout quickly. Snip, I fly on. There was nothing at all. I forget what was there. I try to control it because I know the other person might not know it, or be of a completely different construction in.

Monika Rachtan
The limits of social norms among.

Bard Kowalski
Those closest to me. My closest friends who know me well are the ones who know what I am like and everyone forgives each other for certain deviations. And going back to your question there are grey days. These are grey days in your head. You don't feel like doing anything, you feel bad. In my case, it's that kind of blackness. You know I'm downloading to myself that it's not going to work anymore, that it's going to be another time that something didn't work out, that it's going to be very bad for me. And it used to be that I could fake it great, and now I stereotypically jump into a tracksuit. I feel bad. I don't want to smile, I become a rock. I'm in my zone and sometimes you even need days like this to appreciate the cool days. And I think to myself that this greyness and these days in such my box show me how cool, cool life is and how worth living. Full steam ahead, so to speak.

Monika Rachtan
You talk a lot about feelings, about emotions, about having to be open to people. And when you look at social media and the fact that we sit with our mobiles through. And there the daily report shows that even three hours I can.

Bard Kowalski
Spend on this report absolutely. I've been sitting for a very long time, too, and this report scares me.

Monika Rachtan
And I think that social media also exacerbates these emotional problems of ours and that it may be the reason why this depression is now so prevalent.

Bard Kowalski
I'll tell you this and of course I'm the person who is glued to that phone and I sit and I work on that phone and I talk and I'm attached practically to that phone, I contact people, I also make money from that phone. That's part of my job, but I think it drives a lot of people to depression because they crave the kind of life that's on the internet and on Instagram and on social media, where 80% of what we see there is unfortunately fake.

Monika Rachtan
Well that's right, because this content is created to be pretty, to be attractive. You know, I also, when I come to the programme, very often pictures are taken of me somewhere and I upload these pictures here on the sofa. But the fact that I come here at nine o'clock in the morning, you know, coffee in hand make up, no hair, each one in a different direction. And it's like that's not shown on the internet because it's uncool. Well, maybe I should start like that, but.

Bard Kowalski
And on the other hand, you know what I think to myself? I very often think and think and talk to people about the fact that I, for example, like nice things to look at. It's not that I'm saying that a person is a thing, but I like when there's nice content. I find it interesting, and there are some people who show themselves like that without make-up, but if they're ok with it, and for him it's good, then why not? If it would be good for you and you would like to do it, if you don't want to do it that's ok too. Because see it's us who actually control what we show and how we show.

Monika Rachtan
You know, I also think that people don't understand that the life of some public figures on the internet has to be, has to be something, has to be pretty, because it's part of their image and their work. But these people don't even have the time and space to show the uglier part of their lives, because they do a lot. And when I think about my content that I create on Instagram, well, I think about the fact that I seriously don't have time before a shoot when I have some important professor to take pictures of myself without make-up. But that's not how my life is. If someone asked me, I can honestly talk about it. So I kind of slack off, I don't have a problem with it.

Bard Kowalski
Exactly. And I agree with you 100 per cent, because I think to myself that we are the ones who control what we put out there. We're kind of the ones who are kind of the rulers of our own image on the internet. I, for example, really like your content and, you know, we met quite recently and I like what you're throwing in. For example? I don't know. I also watch this kind of person who posts total always ugly stuff, in quotes, ugly, and occasionally posts at all. You know, so pimped out, painted extra, and I totally don't like the second option for her at all. That's the way I've been dreaming in my head that she looks like that, that when she inserts something pretty I have that. But I think without judgement. Let everyone put whatever they want on these platforms and. But let's not be prisoners of our own image in all this either. Because is it the artistic world, is it the journalistic world, is it the acting world, is it the music world? I know I don't. Well my hat and my image is such an integral part of me, my business card, my calling card.

Bard Kowalski
I want to look like that, I show myself like that. Sometimes I retouch photos, yes, because I like it better that way. Does it make me feel better? Does it make me feel better?

Monika Rachtan
That's right. And it's ok, because there's also such a wave of heckling just on the internet, that I'm also talking about the heckling, because I know that it's very often the cause of various mental problems and also in men, because we associate social media that it's just chicks sitting there, scrolling and these instagramer influencers browsing, and guys browsing too.

Bard Kowalski
They watch, they compare, they comment. Let me tell you, I get more negative comments from men than from women. Men can write me such a message, very unpleasant, that I will tell you honestly I would never think that I would write such a comment to someone.

Monika Rachtan
I wouldn't have time at all.

Bard Kowalski
In general, I always wonder so much about who this person is who sits down and elaborates, for example. Do you understand? It's not one word. It's an elaborate. His thoughts. He'll write me what's wrong. Women tend to comment more positively. There are some nice comments from men too. But you know what, I've recently decided to randomly talk to myself. I don't know, because dudes don't say compliments to each other or say hey you've got nice shoes or you look nice. Because that's unmanly, right? And I thought to myself, I'm just going to surprise you and I'm going to say Oh shit, cool, you've got perfume! Hey, cool jacket, Listen, you know what a surprise the other guy type is. I think so. Yeah, well it's unheard of to say compliments to each other. And I say let's say compliments to each other women to women, women to men, men to women. Let us say nice things to other people.

Monika Rachtan
But what you're talking about is common in women too. Because you know, girls, it's like. Oh, you've got a nice blouse, and it's an old one. Oh, you look nice today. No come on, I'm so tired. You know, we don't know how to take those compliments. And on the other hand, maybe we should just invest in having a cool image. To do what we feel like doing? To be nice to people and just be human to the other person. Not to make him or her feel rude in a way that we wouldn't want to get ourselves. And that would kind of fix the world.

Bard Kowalski
Exactly. We decide what kind of world we live in. No, the world does not decide. Let us be the start of a good change. Let us be the start of a change for the better. If we want to live in a world where there is no hate speech, in a world where we want things to be positive, then let's start that positivity, that kindness, those good comments, praising the other person. Let's start with ourselves.

Monika Rachtan
Let it be a pleasure for us.

Bard Kowalski
Let it be our pleasure. And I believe that a drop drills the rock. It really starts with just a little seed that will push upwards like that, white on white. And eventually it will grow into a really nice crop.

Monika Rachtan
January is here. What are you betting on? In 2025.

Bard Kowalski
On men's mental health. Next year I'm going to do a cool project this year, and this year I'm focusing on men's mental health. With Szymon Makuch, we decided. Szymon Szymon Makuch decided to invite me to do a cool project. I can't reveal too much about it yet, but I want us to talk about the male psyche out loud. I want to help other men. I want them to learn to talk out loud about emotions and about those, about what really hurts them, what hurts them, what's wrong. This is very masculine and very sexy. Men, talk about your emotions out loud.

Monika Rachtan
And I confirm, because there's this belief that a woman has to tell a guy everything, because he won't guess and so on, And you guys think a lot and you have a lot of these different emotions. It's just that nobody has taught you to just talk about it, that it seems so unsexy, that you know, you sit down with your wife and you say but me this Andrew at work today.

Bard Kowalski
Exactly.

Monika Rachtan
And you say why not, What emotions do you have, what was going on, what thoughts do you have? There is no such thing.

Bard Kowalski
Thank you for saying that, because women should help us with all these actions. You are the ones who should, should help us and teach us.

Monika Rachtan
This is me reporting for this action in 2025.

Bard Kowalski
I really invite. Let's tell our partners, colleagues, friends to talk openly about their emotions, what hurts them. It's a great thing to do. Do you know how freeing that is? When you actually say no, you don't hold it in. I'll tell you a situation like this My dad has been telling me I love you for four years now, because before that he used to say thank you to the word I love you, because he wasn't taught this from home, because he wasn't taught it by a woman, for example, that is my sainted grandmother Klara from the mountains. She did not teach him to say the word I love you. It was only my mother who, after so many years, taught him to say I love. You know, I was finishing a conversation with my dad on the phone. He says I say I love you to him. He would say thank you to me. Do you understand? That is it really. And I will continue with the word I love you. I very often say to my friends, to my relatives, to my friends, to my friends. The word I love you. Someone might think Jesus, how can you say I love you to a friend. You know how terribly close that is. And I don't, because they are already so taught that they say exactly the same thing.

Bard Kowalski
Kind words build within us and sow good, positive seeds and.

Monika Rachtan
Heartwarming.

Bard Kowalski
That in fact see we don't know who among us is carrying what on her shoulders. We don't know if the lady in shop one or the other. Why is she so angry and sad? Let us smile at her. Say a kind word to me. The first time she'll treat us like we're crazy, and the second time she'll be happy to see us in that shop.

Monika Rachtan
I had a situation like that once, and it's so interesting in general too. I was driving. I was still a young mum and I was riding the tram with my daughter.

Bard Kowalski
You are young.

Monika Rachtan
But. Thanks, but I was a young mum then. Now I'm a longer-established mum. Whereas I had my daughter in a pram and I was standing there and I was stroking her and I was talking to her darling, and so on and so forth. And there was this old lady standing there. She was about 90 years old. She was standing in this tram, I emphasise, because nobody felt like giving way to her. And she says to her But you're a nice mum. But you're going to be a cool mum, Because it's been a long time since I've heard someone address their child like that in a tram with bags. And look, a few years have passed and I still remember that woman's face, that situation. I remember how warm it was for me to come home at all. You know, my husband comes back at 7pm from work, me all day with this child and I just.

Bard Kowalski
I say.

Monika Rachtan
Hello husband, happiest.

Bard Kowalski
On.

Monika Rachtan
Swiecie.

Bard Kowalski
What a completely different energy. So I have this request to all women and to all men. Dear friends, let us say the word I love you. It doesn't have to be romantic love. It is love for another human being. And I am grateful to my mother, my grandmother, Hania, my all the women who have been in my life and there are those who have passed away, those who are, who openly and spoke the word I love you to me and taught me to say it. My mother and my grandmother. They taught me the word I love you. That's it! You don't always have to say it to the person you're in a relationship with, just say it in such a casual way. It is, let me tell you, really. Let's sow that seed of love, because it's the most important thing in these times.

Monika Rachtan
And what are your resolutions for 2021? But ones that apply to you.

Bard Kowalski
My resolution is to put up a boundary, because I have a problem with putting up boundaries. And when I do put it after a while. Well, that's when the problem starts, because the other person might think I'm being unkind, or I might even hear something like that, that I'm being unkind. Setting boundaries. Following your heart, which means setting boundaries and following your heart. And my such resolve is to continue to carry the mission of helping the other person. I wish and I want and I know that I will. That we should be more and more open to the other person, Because the human being is our greatest positive value. And let us be attentive by looking widely at the other person, because this is very important. We don't know what the other person, let me repeat wears a smile on that back sometimes. That is more than a million dollars.

Monika Rachtan
And do you have something that you would like to get rid of in 2025? What is it that bothers you so much about yourself, about your behaviour? You talked about those boundaries. So probably that assertiveness is disrupted somewhere, but do you have anything else like that?

Bard Kowalski
I think it's good overall, but I think to myself, even more consistency like that. You know, when I put myself out there, it's different. Consistency in my own things. Because I'm consistent often for someone in helping them, and sometimes unfortunately I forget that consistency in helping myself. So 2025 is the year I'm going to be consistent in my goals and in my dreams.

Monika Rachtan
Well now you tell me how he finishes a sentence and I have to ask the question Wait. Well, this.

Bard Kowalski
Somehow I'm sorry about that, we're going to fence that good, because you asked me a question.

Monika Rachtan
About 2025. Do you have anything you would like to reject? And generally cool and they did. You said just he started talking in my ear like I wanted to ask you another question. He cracked me up, so I'm sorry. There's nothing wrong with that. And I already normally thought it was something like.

Monika Rachtan
He didn't start talking.

Bard Kowalski
And he talks.

Monika Rachtan
You are in the foundation, We Fulfil Dreams, and do you want to talk about it? Yes, yes yes. We make dreams come true. Yes.

Bard Kowalski
The Fulfilled Dreams Foundation. And I'll say at your place that my song, so that we can be well, will be the anthem of the Avalon Foundation. So say.

Monika Rachtan
Okay. Okay Bart, but it's also not like you're not active right now in terms of helping, because you're doing a lot of things with different foundations, including ones that help children. Tell us a little bit about that.

Bard Kowalski
We support two foundations so actively. The Fulfilled Dreams Foundation is for children with oncology. I visit them practically. I try to play a concert there once a month, maybe sometimes less often at the hospital, do some actions, also invite other artists to visit the children, the children, their parents. Because we pay a lot of attention to the children, but there are also parents there who devote their whole lives practically.

Monika Rachtan
You will meet the fathers there too. And what do they say?

Bard Kowalski
You know what, they in general seem to have got over that, that moment of talking about emotions. They're obviously also depends who, but I try to talk to them. And you know what, it's amazing, because I was at the children's recently and there was a gentleman who just hugged me and said thank you for talking so openly about parents, about these men who leave their homes, move to this floor next to the bed, because after all, or this mattress next to, because it's not, it's not a hotel that he has a bed next to, he's lying on the mattress next to or he's spending the whole day in hospital. Then he leaves and comes back again in the morning hugging me and saying that he thanks me very much for coming and talking loudly and openly about emotions, because these fathers are such heroes of everyday life and these fathers and these mothers. This is It is something unbelievable, really. And dear ones, I recommend you to give a zloty once a month to any foundation. Any foundation.

Monika Rachtan
And this can be brought in by anyone.

Bard Kowalski
Every little brick. This is something truly wonderful.

Monika Rachtan
It was also in the pandemic that you went to the cancer hospital, the speakers there and brought joy.

Bard Kowalski
They wouldn't let us in the children, so I called the Fulfilled Dreams Foundation and said Well listen, we have to do something. Well these children are just sitting locked in these rooms, they don't have any fun. I want to feel needed. So we set up a stage in front of the hospital, we do the sound system, I take the musicians, we fire up the concert and we set up the stage in front of the hospital. The middle of a pandemic, you know? There's bans, masks and total rubble. And I say we need to give these little children some joy. And we put the stage in front. We played concerts and we've played a couple of them. Even later other celebrities signed up for it and Patrycja Markowska took part too. So later on we did probably four of these concerts in pandemic and it was extraordinary. Like you could see the little mouths in that window waving, you know, and they were so happy. And later on we got drawings from them. It's amazing.

Monika Rachtan
But let's come back to these activities of yours in terms of the foundation and the kids, Well, because here on the one hand a concert for children, visiting them in hospital, and what's going to happen in 2025, 2025?

Bard Kowalski
And you are the first one I am talking about. The Avalon Foundation, which is the normalisation of disability. The song May we be well, will officially be the anthem of this foundation and all the activities you will be able to access on my social media and the social media of the Avalon Foundation, because there will be a lot of activity around this song. You know what, it's amazing to me that this song will have a mission to help, such a very broad mission.

Monika Rachtan
And it's also such a society that is quite unnoticed in our country, because disabled people have been totally out of any public debate for the last 8 years, nothing has been done for them really I can't say anything, but very, very little has been done for these people. But also, you know, in general such an undeveloped group are the parents of these kids, because again cancer kids are one tragedy, and on the other hand parents of disabled children, fathers are in general, You know, the ones who stay with these families, they stay.

Bard Kowalski
Because you know what? Unfortunately the quantity. And this is where I chastise men for it, unfortunately, men, because the percentage of men who leave their wives and leave their wives with children who are sick. I know it's a hard piece of bread, very hard and it's a huge burden, but. It's hard to embrace it alone. You dedicate your life one hundred per cent. There's a great series called Mothers of the Penguins.

Monika Rachtan
Yes, I have watched.

Bard Kowalski
This is so beautifully showing this whole situation about such normalisation of this. Let's talk about it more, let's talk about the spectrum, let's talk about it. I have ADHD myself and it's not that there's a fad for ADHD now and I have a slight spectrum and I'm not ashamed of it at all because I think it's even kind of sexy. And I speak out about it because one time, you know, at my mum's school the maths master said I should probably go to a special school. My warmest regards to your professor. I didn't go to special school and I finished normal school because he said that I was, that I couldn't concentrate, I move too much and that I was probably some. No, not really. So Mr Professor, it's worth looking at yourself.

Monika Rachtan
But you know, because it seems to me that people who are successful and who manage to do something in life very often face such problems. And I'll also tell you from my own backyard that I remember a certificate in primary school, I think it was the second year of primary school. My daughter can't keep her desk tidy. I had a total simply mess on that desk. And now I'm a super-composing everything into cubes and there it is. Extra! But you know what the best thing is? That I thought at the time. My mother at the time used to tell me all the time Jesus, child, what a shame, you have a mess on your desk, start cleaning that desk. How can you even do that?

Bard Kowalski
So stereotypical.

Monika Rachtan
Like. You know, I still remember it to this day And I also know that it's kind of a spectrum, that it's just ADHD and a lot of my guests that sit on this couch. And you know I have medical people here very often. They also openly talk about it, that they are not normal, that they, for example, work at four in the morning because that's when their brains work best, or that they do ten things at once. For example, I remember seeing a professor at the National Cancer Institute. Mr Professor is walking around, talking on the phone. Here he has one, here he has another and so on. He speaks once, covers up for this one and speaks to the other one. It's not normal behaviour. But you know sort of.

Bard Kowalski
Well, but it's his way. How does he find his way around that? It's cool. And I think that each of us in our intrusiveness, I don't know, in our kind of deviation like that. How we don't hurt the other person and he's with us. We are ok with that.

Monika Rachtan
Well, there it is. It is.

Bard Kowalski
Cool. Let's do it. Really.

Monika Rachtan
Well, look, you know I have an ear here and.

Bard Kowalski
You know, they tell you to finish?

Monika Rachtan
Since this 2025 is supposed to be the year that we are supposed to be better for ourselves, we are supposed to feel good, well, we can't end an episode of this show any other way than singing. Good point.

Bard Kowalski
May we be well, may we have time to grow. May we speak plainly, with sensitivity. May we only have beautiful melodies playing inside us every night. May we be well. Listen to me, for I believe in the union of our hearts. And may we be well in this 2025.

Monika Rachtan
You too, be well in 2025.

Bard Kowalski
This is for good measure. Listen to the expression.

Monika Rachtan
And now our stylist should arrive here.

Monika Rachtan
Thank you very much. My guest, but above all your guest, was Bart Kowalski. Have a good one in 2025. That was the programme. First of all. Patient. My name is Monika Rachtan and I would like to invite you strangely on my social media. See you there.

Bard Kowalski
Thank you very much.